Squishy Romance
by dumbdumpbadumpa
Summary: America gets a Pillow Pet for Christmas and decides to marry it off to England's, and so they have to plan a wedding in a day. Gakuen.
1. Chapter 1

The Inspiration is a question from Yahoo Answers:

"I got a Ladybug pillow pet for Christmas, and I don't know what to name it. I want a cute name since it says "Ms. Ladybug" on the tag, but it looks more like a boy- so I figure I'll go with a more unisex name haha.

"Oh… and I'm 19." (-Sophia Estelle, yahoo)

* * *

Now that it was January, the Axis newspaper club was continuing their research into Christmas by interviewing their friends about Christmas gifts. They were in the Chemistry classroom, which was well lit by the many windows it had on its eastern wall. It was a happy place to be, and it seemed to make America extra excited about his lady bug Pillow Pet.

"Holla holla get $$" said America, dancing around the room with his precious Pillow Pet. He tossed it in the air, caught it, and hugged it.

Japan wrote that down on his legal pad. "What does that mean?"

"It means I got a Pillow Pet for Christmas! Wooooo-hooo!" America rolled his tongue and tossed the pillow to Italy.

Italy, who'd already been hopping around, caught the pillow and joined America in his dancing with the plushy. They did a square dance, and then he pulled Japan into a line dance with him and America.

Japan handed the legal pad to Germany as Italy whisked him away.

"What's your… your Pillow Pet's name?" It made sense to name stuffed animals. Germany wasn't the only one who did it. Was he? Oh no.

"Well… I was thinking of naming him Francis, like in A Bug's Life." said America, crossing his feet over each other as he grapevined. "But I was afraid it wasn't very original."

"And France might be mad." sang Italy. Then again, it would be nice to know that America would want to immortalize one of them by naming Ms. Ladybug after them. "Or proud. You should name it Kiku!"

"Um." said Japan. Italy took him out of the linedance and spun him around.

"Yeah, Kiku is a good name!" said America, dancing like lead singer of a boy band with a pillow standing on his head.

Germany wrote that down. _Kiku._

"Is ii okay, Japan?" asked America.

"I suppose so."

"Kiku is the cutest thing I can think of. Do you have a better idea?" said Italy.

"Not really…"

"Ms. Kiku Ladybug!" Italy stopped dancing with Japan and went back to bouncing around America. "He should get married to one of our Pillow Pets."

"Do you have one?"

"Ve, no."

"You're making me dizzy." said Japan. So, Italy went to dance around him, which made him more dizzy.

"I bet England has one." laughed America. "We should find him.

"Germany, let me see what we have so far." Italy took Japan's jacket sleeve and skipped over to Germany with him.

"_America's new Pillow Pet, which he received as a Christmas present, is named Ms. Kiku Ladybug, and is engaged to wed Egnland's Pillow Pet. 'Holler, holler; get dollar dollar.' says America about his future child-in-law._" read Italy, giggling.

America laughed as well, tossing Kiku into the air, then he tried to toss Japan in the air, but Japan skirted his reach to correct the misspelling of 'Egnland.'

"Well, thank-you America." said Germany.

America nodded. "Thanks for setting up Kiku. I'm sure he'll be happy with England's."

"If England has one."

"I'm positive he has one." America cracked his knuckled and went off to look for him. "I'll text you what happens."

"Bye."

"See ya!"

"Have you seen Prussia around?" Germany followed him out after glancing at Japan who was staring at Italy like he was a slice of tasty tiramisu.

"Yeah, he's in lunch detention with Spain for sneaking into the girls' room."

Germany sighed and went down the hall, and America started his search in the other direction.

* * *

More to come


	2. Chapter 2

"England!" said America as he went down the hall, his steps the only thing he could hear.

"England!" said America in the lunch room, hardly able to hear his own voice among the chatter.

"England?" said America to France, who'd escaped detention by being the only one of the bad friends trio who'd done any "sneaking".

"England…" France shrugged at America and joined his search party.

"England, England!" they both said in the English room, hearing the scratch of one solitary pen, the flipping of dictionary pages, and the buzz of fluorescent lights.

"Shhh." said England.

"What are you doing?" whispered America, and France took England's dictionary.

"Rhetorical analysis."

They both shivered dramatically.

"Well." said America. "I have a proposition to make."

"Oh!" said France, very intrigued. "Tell me."

"I'm going to offer England a dowry of twenty bucks to let his Pillow Pet marry Kiku here." whispered America, showing the ladybug.

"Ah." murmured France. "Can I be the wedding planner?"

"Italy already claimed that." said America. "But you two could be partners.

France closed his eyes. "We could be partners."

"Do you have a Pillow Pet."

"No."

"Damn. No one else seems to have one, and we can't have a wedding without bride's maids and a best man!"

"Kumajiro could be the best man." said France. "And maybe some of Japan's big headed anime dolls could be the bridesmaids.

"Oh!" said America, bopping up and down on his toes, very excited to have a wedding.

"You two," said England finally, still looking at his essay. "How does this sound-"

"We don't care." said France.

England sighed and stood up. "Fine. Why are you here?"

America presented Ms. Ladybug to England. "I want my son Kiku to marry your…"

"Son." said England, getting his backpack and taking out a lavender unicorn Pillow Pet.

"A unicorn! Ooh, I knew it." said America. "A purple unicorn. Give me your man card, you're being revoked. You're a girl now."

England rolled his eyes. "Would it be better to have the rainbow unicorn?"

"Yeah, it would be. Robot Rainbow Unicorn is the best, it's a really good game and-"

"We don't care." said England and France at the same time, and then glared at each other.

"Well, anyway, what's his name?"

"My son is named after the two bravest people I know, but one of them is here right now so I can't tell you. But his last name is Magical."

"My dowry is twenty dollars." said America, who was open to negotiation.

"And a movie and dinner."

"Oh." said America and France. America was blushing and France was building a huge gossip story to tell Spain and Prussia.

"Alright." said America with a grin, putting his hand out. England shook it.

America set Kiku on England's essay on the desk, and England put Mr. Magical with him.

_"H-hello."_said America for Kiku.

"_Hello._" Mr. Magical's voice sounded like England pretending he had horse lips.

"_Are you Mr. Magical?_" asked Kiku.

"_Yes…_" Mr. Magical couldn't meet Ms. Ladybug's eyes without blushing.

"_Then that means you're my true love_!" said Kiku.

"_Brrrr…_" said Mr. Magical, who was nickering.

America had to take a moment to laugh at England for nickering.

"_Don't be nervous."_ said Kiku, standing up to offer his front foot to his betrothed. Mr. Magical took it in his pinkish hoof. He felt a little bit more confident, leaning towards Kiku.

France purred in the background as Mr. Magical's narrow eyes gazed into Kiku's and everything was very loud even though there was nothing but the hum of the building and three living bodies. Kiku slid closer to Mr. Magical. After a tense moment, Mr. Magical slid in as well, touching his snout to Ms. Ladybug's lips, which were still spread into a smile, and remained that way as their imaginary lips pressed together in a fairytale kiss. It was a thing to smile about indeed.

They broke the kiss and held paws again, now side by side and pressed together. America wiped a tear from his eye. His son was already in love, and it was only two weeks that Kiku'd entered the family. Now he was joining another family. England's family. England sure had a cute nose. America wondered what movie they would see, and if they would hold hands.

"Isn't it incest if you two look at each other like that." said France loudly. "Because those two are your sons."

"Nobody asked you." said England.

"France, would you babysit them while we go gather the wedding procession?" asked America sweetly, trying to make up for England.

"Sure." he said.

England and America began to leave and France started to reposition the Pillow Pets.

"If they lose their virginity before the wedding, so help me France." said England. France put them back to leaning on each other, with a pout.

* * *

one more on its way


	3. Chapter 3

the bridesmaids are from Tsuritama please watch it; if you like Hetalia you'll like Tsuritama

* * *

"Okay." said America in the hall, where his voice echoed slightly. "Germany is the captain of the… whatever club he, Italy, and Japan are in."

"The newspaper club, you dolt."

"Yeah, that. And as a captain, he can marry people - I saw it in Pirates of the Caribbean - so he's the priest. And the dolls on Japan's backpack are the bride's maids."

"Alright. And who's the best man?"

"Kumajiro."

"Okay. First we'll track down the Axis."

"Weeeee're off to see the Axis, the wonderful Axi-!"

"Don't." said England, locking arms with America anyway. "Where's my twenty dollars?"

"In my backpack." said America. "In Chemistry."

"When is lunch over?"

"We have ten minutes."

"Skip faster!"

They went to get Germany from lunch detention, and then the three ran back to Chemistry and found the door was locked. America knocked.

Japan answered, straightening the collar on his shirt to cover a pink mark on his neck. "Sorry, I didn't think it was locked. I think if there were a school shooting at our school, everyone would be in the hall shooting at each other and having World War 3, not safe in classrooms,"

"It would be so cool to have World War 3, I'd mediate all over the bad guys' asses!" said America.

"No, we better not have World War 3, that would completely ruin everyone's economy and Switzerland would have to nurse us back to health. Anyway, how did it go?" Said Japan.

"It was perfect!" said America. "They kissed and everything! You're an uncle in law, Japan."

"On both sides." said England.

"I knew him first."

"Did not."

"Well, he's closer to me."

"Hell no he isn't."

"Japan!" they both said.

"I-I like you both equally!" said Japan.

"Ok." They went into the room. Italy was pushing a lab desk back into its place in the grid of the chemistry desks with his hip.

"Oh! America and England!" said Italy. "How'd it go?"

"It went great!" America and Italy hopped around happily.

"We need Japan's plushies to be the bride's maids."

"Ooh," said Japan. He liked the sound of that, and sat his backpack on the table.

"Aw! Boys!" said America. It was just a demon faced ginger with his cute little flamboyant brother, an Indian secret agent with a duck, and a bespectacled fellow with an Asian-fro. They weren't bride's maids, they were bride's misters.

"We'll just genderbend them." said Japan.

"O.K.! So text me in-characters after class and I'll type for Kiku and we'll get the bridesmaids all set. And Italy, you have to text France and get the colors planned. Germany, you'll be the priest, so practice your lines. We'll have the wedding at lunch tomorrow!"

"Yay!"

"Hurry, come on. We have to get them back from France and get to class on time." England pulled America out the door.

"Bye guys!" laughed America, grabbing his backpack as England took him away.

"Bye!"

"Wait, priest? Really?"

"Yes, Germany. Bye!"

"But."

America and England closed the door behind them.

.

"We'll be fine, Germany." said Italy.

"Are they Catholic? Are they Protestant? Which lines do I learn?"

"Text him after school, like he said. Let them worry about it, they're the parents." said Italy, sitting on the desk.

"I agree; don't worry about it, Germany." said Japan. "Just learn any lines. It doesn't really matter as much as their vows."

"Unless their vows are bad, they only have one night to write them you know."

"Yeah, they might be garbage. I've seen your English essays." Said Germany. Italy stuck his tongue out.

"Just text him later." Said Japan. "Everything will work out."

The bell rang.

* * *

"Do you, Mr. Magical, take Ms. Ladybug to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"_I do._"

"And do you, Ms. Ladybug, take Mr. Magical to be _your_ lawfully wedded husband?

"_I do_."

"I now pronounce you husbands."

Their snouts pressed together, and the audience clapped.

They both had little top hats that Kiku had made, Germany had done a good job reading his note cards, which complimented the cliched song lyrics the pillows had used for their vows, Italy had brought gelato for the reception, and France had three lavender balloons and a ladybug-spotted umbrella. It was a pretty great high school wedding for two plush pillows. And there was gelato there, so even if the wedding _had_ been plagued with any issues, there would always have been free food, if not melted food. But, no, everything went smoothly. The happy couple pretended that their sons were pretending to feed each other ice cream, but they wouldn't actually get the pillows anywhere near something that could stain them. France appearified a rose for them to toss around like a bouquet, and then the reception was cut short by the bell for next period. But it was a pretty great high school wedding.

* * *

THE END


End file.
